


Removing bandages stuck on with blood- Clint Barton (MCU), Natasha Romanov (MCU), and Phil Coulson (MCU)

by AnaliseGrey



Series: Analisegrey's Birthday Whump Bingo Challenge 2018 [10]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Budapest, Clint has a mouth on him, Clint whump, Gen, Natasha is a troll, Strike Team Delta, Whump, unintended uses for vodka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 20:37:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14601207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaliseGrey/pseuds/AnaliseGrey
Summary: For square #10 of my whump bingo challenge!Ramblingandpie on tumblr asked: "Can I get the stuck bandages one with Clint Barton and either Natasha or Phil".I doubled down and did Natasha AND Phil :D





	Removing bandages stuck on with blood- Clint Barton (MCU), Natasha Romanov (MCU), and Phil Coulson (MCU)

“They should be taken off quickly. There’s no reason to draw it out. One quick yank and it’s done.”

“Yes, but depending on the location, quick and rough isn’t always the best option, Natasha. Slow and gentle may well be the better choice. It’s a matter of context.”

“Skin is skin, Coulson. Unless of course your aim is to make the person suffer longer, then by all means, do it slowly.”

“Skin is skin, but his is barely holding together under the bandage, so ripping it off may not be the wisest strategy. Slower is better.”

“Uh...guys?”   
“Shut up, Clint.”

“Shut up, Clint.”

“Hmph.”

“Alright, maybe you have a point, Phil. What if we wet it first? Then the blood wouldn’t stick quite so badly.”

“That would be a great idea, but the water here isn’t safe. We ran out of filtration tablets, and I won’t risk pouring contaminated water on an open wound when we don’t know how long ‘til exfil yet.”

“Hmm. Good point...what about vodka?”

“ _ What _ ?!”

“Hush, Clint. What  _ about  _ vodka?”

“Well, I mean the bottle’s unopened, so it’s kind of sterile, right? And the alcohol would help disinfect the wound.”

“That...is a valid point. Where’d you even  _ get  _ vodka?”

“Duty free shop. Was bringing it back for Maria, but she doesn’t have to know.”

“Huh. Ok, this might work. You grab the vodka, I’ll get the new bandages and some gauze.”

“Got it.”

“Wait, hey, guys?  _ Guys _ ? Don’t I get a say in this?”

“No.”

“Aww, Nat, come on-”

“No. You were the idiot who got himself shot.”

“Not on  _ purpose _ !”

“Irrelevant. Here, open this.”

“I can’t believe you’re making me open the vodka you’re about to torture me with. Why can’t  _ you  _ open it?”

“I sprained my wrist when I fell off the fire escape. Phil said to be careful with it. Open the bottle.”

“Fine, geez, here.”

“Thank you.”

“Ok, here are the new bandages and some gauze to clean around the wound with. Clint, do you think you’ll be able to stay still for this?”

“Do I get to drink any of the vodka first?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“ _ Natasha _ .”

“Oh please, Phil, he’ll be fine. Yes Clint, you can have some of the vodka first. Open your mouth, I’ll pour some in.”

“Why can’t you just hand me the bottle?”

“Mouths have lots of bacteria. I don’t want to contaminate the bottle, it’s now a medical device. We need to keep it clean.”

“...ack!”

“If you hadn’t moved, it would have gone in your mouth just fine.”

“Phil poked me!”

“I did not.”

“Yes you  _ did _ !”

“ **Boys** .”

“Sorry.”   
“Sorry.”

“Here Clint, we’ll try again. Hold still.”

“...thanks, Natasha.”

“You’re welcome. Ok, are we ready, then?”

“I don’t think I’m drunk enough for this.”

“We don’t have enough vodka for you to be drunk enough for this. Here, hold onto my hand, squeeze if you need to. No, not that hand, the other one.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s ok. Phil? Ready?”

“Yup. Hold tight, Clint.”

“Got it bossman...MOTHER _ FUCKER _ !”

“Sorry, Clint, just...hold still, just another second, you’re alright.”

“I am  _ not  _ fucking alright, Jesus  _ Christ… _ ”

“Ok, Clint, the bandage is off, you’re good, you did good.”

“Fucking  _ hell _ . Give me more of that vodka, Nat.”

“Only a little, we still need it for disinfection.”

“Ugh. This is shit vodka, you know that, right?”

“Of course I know that. I’ve been having fun giving Maria shitty vodka and pretending it isn’t.”

“...why would you do that?”

“I’m Russian. She expects me to be an expert, and it’s fun to fuck with her.”

“I love you.”

“That’s the blood loss talking. Phil, how’s he doing?”

“Almost done. Pour some more right here?”

“Hnngggaaargh!”

“And done. This is as good as its going to get until we have actual medical supplies. Hopefully they won’t take too long to come get us.”

“Are you ok, kozlenok?”

“Yeah- yeah I’m fine. And don’t call me that, I know what that means.”

“And why shouldn’t I? You’re stubborn aren’t you? Though I can pick something else, if you’d prefer, reppachka moya.”

“Oh my god, Natasha, I’ve been shot, have some pity, huh?”

“Nope. You must soldier on, like a good Russian.”

“I’m from Iowa.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Ok, I think we should let Clint rest a bit. I’m going to try contacting dispatch again, see when we can expect to get picked up, and update them on the situation. When I get back I’ll wrap your wrist. Sound good?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes, Phil.”

“Good. And next time? We’re not coming to Budapest for vacation.”

**Author's Note:**

> Russian translations:  
>  _kozlenok_ \- 'little goat'  
>  _reppachka_ \- diminutive/small turnip


End file.
